Yolande

Moms Make it Work An Introduction

I have an idea and I'm really excited to share it with you guys.

Be prepared for a blog takeover of sorts, because I have a boat load of guest posters lined up for this baby, which is something I've never done in the past. There are twenty-four guest bloggers to be exact, and all of them are pretty fabulous if I do say so myself. What is this excessive guest posting all about, you say? Well...

Social media is my friend and I truly love being a 'mommy blogger,' but something has been bothering me for awhile now.  What is with the judgement, the mommy wars, and the idea that there is only one right way to do this motherhood thing? Especially when it comes to 'working moms' versus 'stay at home moms', the hurtful comments are ridiculous and unnecessary. I haven't been on the receiving end of these battles, thankfully, but I've read enough of them over the years to know that these mommy wars really bug me.

Because here is the thing: all moms are freaking rock stars. We all wear multiple hats, spread ourselves a bit too thin at times, and juggle the demands of busy lives every single day. Whether or not a mom leaves the house to work outside of her home, if she owns her own business based out of her house, or if she answers to the tiniest slave driving offspring as her primary job---it's all super challenging at times. Of course, it's also wonderful, but motherhood is quite the trip. We all do it differently because there is no one correct choice that fits all moms and all families.

One thing I feel the blogging community is lacking is a collective voice of REAL moms, coming from all backgrounds, speaking about what 'works' for them. Hence my idea of making this blog a central site for moms to post about their experiences as a working mom, stay at home mom, or something in between. It's all good and it should be really interesting to read everyone's take on this topic. Support. Togetherness. Kumbaya, friends.



Before we start the twice weekly posting from these fabulous bloggers, I will give a quick review on my personal set up as a working mom. I've already done a post all about working part time as a Physical Therapist, but I will recap to get the ball rolling with this series.

I love my job and love working three days per week on MWF. I could not mentally or emotionally handle working full time at my job and I'm not sure I'd choose to stay at home full time either (probably for the same reasons). So basically, I feel like I have the best of both worlds by flip flopping my 'Home with the Kids' and the 'Physical Therapist' hats depending on the day. I know not everyone would want my job and that is totally understandable. But I earned my Masters degree for this job and have been practicing for eight years now, so I think I can officially say that I'm glad I became a Physical Therapist. I know you are happy to hear that, mom and dad;)

I say that I couldn't emotionally handle working as a home care PT full time because my job is not a place when I get a 'break' from the chaos of life at home. I'm not saying it's especially difficult or anything but it's also not easy to emotionally invest into the elderly and usually very sick population. In their homes. As they offer me cookies and coffee just to stay and chat a bit longer, because they are lonely and scared and facing some serious life changes. Of course, not every patient of mine makes me feel emotionally exhausted but when they do, whoo boy. Not to mention that working in healthcare can often be thankless, the opposite of glamorous, and incredibly frustrating at times. Dealing with people, especially those that are sick and sometimes quite stubborn about wanting to stay in their own homes until the bitter end, can be trying. I don't have an office, time to relax and drink coffee/check the internet with my job (although thank goodness for my iPhone because duh, I DO find time to surf the net a little bit!).  I'm in and out of my car all day, busting it to and from patients houses and squeezing in some paperwork in between visits and also in the evenings after the kids go to bed. But I still appreciate and am grateful for my job. I love to help others, stepping outside my own tiny privileged world for a bit, to feel like I'm making a difference. It's also really nice to interact with other adults while contributing to our family financially---there are just so many positives to working part time.

The biggest negatives? Two things: the hustle and bustle of work day mornings (hate having to rush out the door with the kids, especially in the dead of winter), and juggling the demands of a sick child while working. I have flexibility with my part time schedule but it's always tough to manage a sick babe who needs mommy at home and patients who need to be seen. When a kid is sick I just want to be home with them but that always puts the rest of the week in a tail spin trying to squeeze patients into my other days at work. It's worth it, but those are my two biggest challenges as a mom who works part time at a job like mine.

This is my advice to the working mom: find a career that you truly enjoy. It's a job and it's not going to be perfect but if you can like it you will be a lot happier. This definitely helps me feel balanced and guilt-free when I leave my kids at daycare. I've also written about daycare before, but obviously finding the right childcare provider is also a huge key to success.

My pep talk to any mom dreading the day she returns to work after a baby? The anticipation is worse than the reality. It IS hard and it's such a huge adjustment, but you can make it a positive experience or you can make it a miserable one. Just do your best and know that you are a great mom no matter what. Consider that my virtual fist-pound to you, working moms of the world.

And to the stay at home moms out there? Major kudos, girls. On my SAHM days of the week I am every bit as exhausted as my Physical Therapist days. It's a different type of exhaustion but since I consider being a mom the most challenging and most rewarding job in the world, it's a great kind of exhaustion. Providing opportunities to learn, play, burn energy, gain independence, and rest for the kids is enough of a challenge. But then add in a bit of housework, errands, providing meals for the family, staying emotionally connected to my husband, and carving out a bit of time for myself (which usually comes last)? Full.Plate. I love it, but it's no joke being at home either. I'm already questioning my ability to handle three little children all by myself on my days at home. Thankful that Truman will have a few hours each day in preschool at that point. But still. Woah.

So there you have it. My contribution to this series on moms who 'make it work'. I can't wait to read the posts from the other ladies we have planned on Mondays and Thursdays from now through the end of April, and I hope you are just as excited:)

Anything specific that you want us to cover? Thoughts? Questions?