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Minggu, 23 Juli 2017
Get Potty training age 1
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Jumat, 14 Juli 2017
Potty Training Power Struggles Part 1
You know that old expression, "it's not you, it's me?" I have reached the conclusion that when it comes to my children and potty training, I can honestly say to them, "it's not me, it's you."
After 3 children and 15 different tactics I still haven't seemed to master the art of potty training, but upon reflection I realized, it's not me.
The Husband and I are both so, so over changing diapers and pull-ups! We have been changing our children's diapers almost continuously since the end of 2005. Except for a small six month break, I have been changing diapers for over NINE YEARS!!! Yes, you heard that right, I have 3 children and I have been changing diapers and cleaning up crap, literally, for almost a decade of my life and I am over it!
If you just did the math you will already know what I am about to say, which is that each one of my children has potty trained WELL past 3 years old. Snowflake finally got it at 3 1/2, Raindrop at 4 (FOUR!!!!), and Starman.....well, *sigh* let's just hope it is sooner rather than later (but, we will discuss that in Part 2). But truthfully, I really don't feel like I can do this much longer. I am ready now.
Some smug parents out there will be reading this, chuckling and patting themselves on the back about how amazing they are, and how amazing it is that they potty trained their child at 18 months, or 2 years....or even before 3. I am here to burst your bubble. It wasn't you. Your child made that choice. Children do it when they are ready and no amount of parental desire or creative tactics will work. In fact, I suspect that this may simply be a nature over nurture thing. Some kids are more inclined than others.
I am basing that conclusion on the fact that we have had the exact same results with all three kids despite the fact that we have tackled the problem very differently all three times:
Snowflake
With our first we did what every first time parents do, we researched the holy heck out of the subject. I painstakingly filled out the checklists, such as "Is your child ready?," and we purchased everything we needed in preparation. At 2 years we started mentioning the potty and taking her with us when we went so we could model.
At 2 1/2 we did the three days program, and taking two days off of work, I made sure I was home for 5 straight days to accomplish this. At the end of the 3 days it was a miracle! She was totally potty trained.....right up until a week later when she said, "Mommy, me no like the potty. Me all done, K?"
Ummm......no, it is very much NOT ok.
But true to her word, despite being in underwear (and me on my hands and knees cleaning), she refused to budge. Four weeks later I finally caved and put her back in pull-ups. Back to research mode. This time we had the family over and we threw a "potty party" (you can roll your eyes now, I usually do) and celebrated throwing away her diapers. We hung up a sticker chart and bought a giant train and put it up where she could see it, but couldn't touch it. She used the potty and we all cheered. The party was over and she stayed dry for a whole 3 weeks right up until the day she completed her sticker chart and got her train. The next day she had an accident, which was chalked up to the learning process....a week later, she had stopped going in the potty completely. Repeating the whole process from sticker chart, to reward (Chuck-E-Cheese this time) to regression, our frustration level was rising.
I took the train.
I was so frustrated at this point. She COULD do it. She just WOULDN'T. They say don't do negative consequences but after 3 months of regression and refusal, I tried taking privileges or putting her in her room after accidents, making her clean herself up, changing her less often. Nothing worked.
It took a year, but one day after we moved into our new house she woke up one day, just shy of 3 1/2 and said to me over breakfast, "Ok Mom. I think I will use the potty now." And that was it. Just like that it was all over.
Raindrop
Along comes Raindrop. We decided to change tactics, saying we weren't going to push potty training at all until she reached 3. Figuring that maybe by changing tactics, we would have more success the second time around. Oh, how foolish we were.
Right before her third birthday, Raindrop started using the potty to pee. Yay! Success! I did nothing, She figured it all out on her own. I finally had one that got it right!
*sigh*
Then I found out I was pregnant and became violently "morning" sick from sun-up to sun-down. Raindrop stopped using the potty, but since we were in underwear by this point I wasn't willing to backtrack. I was committed and we were going to press on.
From April to August I kept that girl in underwear. I was NOT giving in. I was on anti-nausea meds and even with them I was vomiting 2-5 times a day and miserable all the time, but still spent hours on my hands and knees steam cleaning poop and pee out of my carpet EVERY. SINGLE. DAY.
This went on for four months. Right before she started preschool I put her back in pull-ups. I gave up and waved the white flag. At seven months pregnant, I couldn't take it anymore. I put her in underwear to send her to school and hoped for the best, but as soon as she was back home she was back in a pull-up. She actually made it to February before the truth came out at school that she wasn't in fact truly potty trained (which we promptly blamed on the new baby).
The thing with Raindrop's journey was that the previous May, because she was pooping daily in her underwear (when it wasn't on my floor, which she did purposefully), she developed a horrible, horrible staph infection from a diaper rash. Despite multiple rounds of different antibiotics, it spread. It spread and spread until by August it went from the backs of her thighs all the way up to her mid-back. She was missing huge chunks of skin. (I still have pictures, but they are way too graphic and horrible to post on this blog.) Our church put our family on their prayer chain. It was bad. It was really, really bad. Every time I changed her diaper she bled....profusely. I cried a lot. I pleaded with her. I offered her the world if she would just go in the potty. Nothing worked.
In September (around the start of preschool and while I was still pregnant) we took her to a specialist and a dermatologist. They told me if she didn't potty train and soon, that the staph infection could spread to her bloodstream and she could be at risk for a fatal blood infection. (Two more churches added us to their prayer chains.)
HOLY CRAP!!!!
Potty training had suddenly turned into an all-out battle to save my daughter's life. But, despite the doctor's dire warnings to her that she would be hurting herself if she didn't potty train, she remained unmoved. We went back to the pediatrician. We established that she had a food dye allergy, and that helped us clear up the staph infection a little bit, but it continued on in a milder form. Then she got a strep infection in her open sores. We managed to clear that up quickly, but the damage was beginning to leave scars.
The pediatrician commented in January that she had been practicing for decades and had never seen a child as stubborn as my daughter. We were recommended to get a counselor. After that she worried that there was something physically wrong and we were referred to a special department at Children's Hospital. Miraculously, a week before her fourth birthday, and two weeks before our appointment at Children's, she woke up one day and said "Mommy, I am going to use the potty today." And with that declaration we never looked back. We cancelled the appointment at the hospital 5 days shy of the appointment. The staph infection cleared up, and her scarring has almost totally faded now.
Both girls potty trained on their own time, regardless of anything we did. Tips and tricks may work for some kids, but only if they are really truly on-board. Much like sending an addict to rehab, unless they are absolutely committed to the process they may succeed for a while, but inevitably they will relapse.
Both girls potty trained on their own time, regardless of anything we did. Tips and tricks may work for some kids, but only if they are really truly on-board. Much like sending an addict to rehab, unless they are absolutely committed to the process they may succeed for a while, but inevitably they will relapse.
Next Week
Here ends Part 1. Look for Part 2 on Friday. Find out how Starman's potty training trials are going, what tips and tricks we have found worthwhile, despite our lack of success with them, and why you shouldn't ever hand out unsolicited potty training advice (or judgment).
Rabu, 12 Juli 2017
Isla Mujeres Trip 2015 Day 1
I really want to recap our amazing/magical/perfect/want-to-go-back-immediately trip to Mexico, even though I am sure these posts will be a major undertaking and not terribly 'popular' for the general public. But I took tons of pictures (shocking!!) and want to relive the memories, so here goes nothing.
Last Memorial Day weekend, Erin and Ben visited us from Minnesota. One of the things on our agenda for that weekend was 'Convince Ben to Agree Upon a Tropical, Winter Vacation.' Erin and I had been emailing about this dream of going on a trip to somewhere with a beach, hot weather, and without our beloved children (i.e. NO RESPONSIBILITIES, ultimate relaxation possible). We somehow succeeded at convincing Ben and Nate was already all over the idea. But of course, I was still quite pregnant with Porter and we wanted to wait until he was born to make the trip officially official. I admit, the idea of leaving my then unborn baby when he would be approximately eight months, along with his two older siblings seemed like it would be a monumental feat. I've only been away from Truman maybe a total of 6 nights ever in his five years of life, away from Cecelia just 2 nights that I can recall, and I dreaded the idea of pumping for the entire trip while away from baby Porter (ha, no worries, Julia of last year!). But I knew that if this winter was anything like last winter, we would be in serious need of a kid-free vacation to warmer weather. And so I started talking myself up to be brave, leave the children for a few nights with very capable and willing grandparents, and enjoy the heck out of our time away.
My requests for the trip: 1. To be towards the end of winter, to allow for Porter to be as 'old' as possible and hopefully sleeping through the night (yes, good call, CHECK). 2. Somewhere with a beach and HOT weather, not likely to be raining constantly. 3. Direct flight from Milwaukee (not quite achieved, but still okay). We considered Florida but the weather isn't always a guarantee for 80+ temps and very little rain. We figured Mexico would be a great option and one that is relatively inexpensive when compared to islands in the Caribbean. Nate really wanted to stay on the Gulf/Caribbean side if possible because he thinks the beaches are nicer compared to the Pacific side. We didn't want to do an All-Inclusive because we wanted to eat at different restaurants and explore a little more than feeling restricted to one resort. Erin did all of the planning and research for the trip, and found us a privately owned condo on the island of Isla Mujeres, which is a 20 minute ferry ride from Cancun, Mexico. YES, PLEASE. It ended up being the perfect location, perfect weather, and easy travel. Really, truly, magical.
We booked our Nautibeach condo in September and got plane tickets shortly thereafter. Unfortunately, Milwaukee didn't have any direct flights to Cancun except for on Tuesdays and Saturdays, so we ended up flying in and out of Chicago, Midway. Not a huge deal since we drove the two hours down there the night before our early morning flight, and stayed in a cheap hotel near the airport. Definitely worth it to have a direct flight!
On Wednesday, March 11 my mom flew in from Colorado around 2pm. My dad was also supposed to come but he had the flu and ended up staying home miserable, and muttering truths like 'I NEVER get sick' while wishing he was a part of the babysitting crew. Tony and Lois were also very active parts of childcare while we were gone, so three grandparents to three children ended up being a very good ratio of adults to kids;) Mom got in that afternoon, we ate dinner, Nate got home from work, we put the kids to bed, and then Nate and I immediately drove to Chicago. So I didn't get to see mom much before we left, but I did manage to type up a four page instruction sheet to make me feel better about someone else being in charge of my children for days on end;) #controlfreak #leavingthreekidsishard #don'trockthebabytosleepPLEASE
DAY ONE: Thursday, March 12
Our flight was at 7:00 am, so we woke up at (the ungodly time of) 4:00 am in our hotel room by the airport, parked our car in one of the economy lots (only $15 per day, I thought it would have been a lot more expensive!), and blew through ticketing and security in no time. The morning was so early and I was kind of nervous/amped up about the trip, and I didn't feel all that great. I'm sure I was also overanalyzing every breath since I knew my mom had been exposed to my dad, who was pretty sick. I was extra worried about one of the kids getting sick while we were gone, or mom coming down with whatever dad had---mostly I was a head case about any and all germs. After our McDonalds breakfast, some coffee, and boarding the plane to paradise I somehow pulled through and felt much better once we were on our way to this vacation we had been planning for almost a year!
The flight was four hours long but it went by really quickly with Southwest's free TV, my laptop for working on Porter's eight month post, and a bit of the book I downloaded for Lois' Kindle (Maine by J. Courtney Sullivan---haven't read a book in years, and didn't even finish this one but it's good so far!). We landed, went through customs and got our checked bags, and walked to the end of the airport when we saw Ben and Erin. We were outside at this point and it was ridiculously hot and humid, which was much appreciated because we weren't in Wisconsin anymore, baby! Ben and Nate had a beer or two from the vendor outside of the airport while Erin and I had some water and we all discussed the logistics of getting to our condo. Erin and Ben had already reserved a shuttle from the airport to the ferry dock, so we found our driver and took in the scenes of Cancun while riding to the ferry. Once we got there (about 20 minutes or so), we saw that there was a fairly large line to get onto the ferry itself. But seeing the ocean and palm trees and feeling the sun on our skin made it seem like this was a real vacation instead of something we had just been talking about for so long.
I had to change clothes because I was dying in my yoga pants, hoodie and tennis shoes, the guys got some food, and us girls chugged more bottled water. We ended up getting onto the boat about an hour after we arrived to the ferry, and we were all pretty thrilled with the color of the ocean water. And our rock guitarist on the 20 minute ferry ride;)
He was really into singing Santana songs, and possibly one Guns-n-Roses tune. Entertainment!
Selfie with my big camera, because we are serious about documentation;)
We're on a boat!
We then walked from the ferry to our condo and I think we were all dripping in sweat at this point, extra-excited for the pool and ocean. The guys walked to the grocery store and apparently came back with many very heavy groceries that must have been a sight to see, as they hauled them back to our condo. Erin and I changed and went right to the beach. Snapped a selfie on the beach to mark the true beginning of vacation;)
Then we noted a small group of loud, topless girls in the water, shaking their coconuts and causing us to wonder if spring breakers *would*, in fact, be on our island and not just Cancun! Alas, we did not see anymore partiers the entire trip, and instead noticed many families with small children. I don't actually think there were too many kids at our resort but of course, like typical moms, we seemed to notice every single one of the little babes. Occasionally one of them would make me miss my own offspring until they began to melt down, cry, and give their parents general hell while vacationing. At that point I would simply take another sip of my adult beverage and soak in the non-parenting moments of our childless vacation. Love you kids! But mommy and daddy need time away sometimes, too.
Erin observing the once-topless girls who reapplied their bikini tops prior to this picture. Ah, different seasons of life.
The guys came back from the store and we all hung out at the pool for a bit. The flotation devices were KEY for maximal relaxation. I accidentally popped one of these babies with a stray bobby pin, too. Whoops!
Many-a-foot shots were taken on this trip. Be warned.
We attempted to find WiFi immediately upon stepping into our resort, but we quickly realized that the best signal would be on the patio of our condo. For internet junkies like us, this was a prominent location for out trip! (None of us took a single picture of the inside of our condo, but trust me when I say it was delightful).
Beloved patio of Internetting:
View from our patio, looking to the pool and past that, the ocean.
Such prettiness around our condo:
Palm Trees = NOT WISCONSIN
Then we Face-timed with the kids...
...got showered, and went out to dinner. Oh, and the boys and I began our love affairs with Pina Coladas before we left for dinner. Somehow they were able to concoct the most delicious, frozen, fruity drink ever and we may or may not have gone through nearly three bottles of rum during the trip. I blame that on the men for 80% of the consumption though. Poor Erin and her non-alcoholic vacation. We drank in her honor, obviously.
Had to take a few 'dressed up for dinner' pictures on the beach. Erin's belly is truly this adorable in person, FYI.
Parents vacationing on the beach. Watch out, Mexico!
Kind strangers took a few pictures of the four of us, many of which turned out really well!
Strolling the streets, looking for a place to chow.
We walked around the main street of Isla Mujeres (called Hidalgo Ave apparently, did not know this until I just read Erin's blog post about our first day) and eventually decided to eat at Lola Valentina for dinner. We started with guacamole and decided we would have to taste test guac at every dinner, and we were always quite satisfied with each version, every night. My pineapple ginger margarita and my flautas were both awesome for dinner. I like to think I'm fairly easy to please with food but I do not like anything remotely spicy, which can be a bit challenging in Mexico. But I avoided any of the burning-mouth-panicky sensations and found many tasty alternatives to breathing fire. Such as: badass margaritas.
And my 'flautas', I think there was chicken inside--not totally sure.
After dinner we walked home and hung out on the beach briefly before retiring to bed at an impressive 9:30pm. It was a long day of travel and we were all beat, so luckily our king sized beds turned out to be ridiculously comfortable. Although Porter is now sleeping through the night, getting uninterrupted sleep on a kid-free vacation was still especially wonderful. Because everything on vacation is wonderful, right?
Selasa, 04 Juli 2017
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Minggu, 21 Mei 2017
Dog in Training part 1
The baby isn't even born yet and I'm already neglecting my first born on this blog. Poor Henry! Well, he has some news for you guys. Big news.
Henry is officially in training. And no, not marathon training with his dad. We hired an in-home dog trainer to come to our house and turn Henry into the perfect big brother.
But wait, isn't Henry perfect already? I'm sure it seems that way from my blog since all I do is post disgustingly cute pictures of our little man and gush over him but no, he is not perfect. Far from it, actually.
You see, ever since birth Henry has been a bit of a fraidy cat. If a stranger comes up to him on a walk and says, 'OMG he is the cutest dog ever, can I pet him?' while walking towards Hank he never fails: he'll slowly back away, crouch down, and give the stranger a look like she's trying to strangle timid little Henry. Same thing for when an unknown friend of Mommy or Daddy's comes by the house...deathly afraid, cowering in the corner, for at least an hour or two until he SLOWLY warms up to them (after much internal debate with himself, I'm sure).
But his shyness was something we could always deal with, chalking it up to the fact that dogs have individual personalities just like people and apparently Henry's personality is being a giant wuss. Unless of course he knows and likes you---then watch out for the countless face licks, butt shakes, and snuggle sessions. This lover boy part of him always outweighed the wussy one.
However, there was a new problem we encountered somewhere in between our move up to Milwaukee and our move to this duplex. Perhaps the shock of leaving his comfort zone in St. Louis, the only home he'd ever known in his whole little life, was too much. Maybe it was the time right before the move when a dog nearly attacked my baby. Or maybe living above my in-laws dog Sammy makes Henry yearn to be the alpha dog. But whatever the cause, Henry is now a barker.
He barks from the back of the couch whenever a dog walks by, a family pushes a stroller on a walk, a leaf blows past the window....you get the idea. And when we venture out for walks Henry turns into Mr. Macho Man and decides to growl and bark at strange dogs who just want to play. It's awful and annoying and SO not going to fly when we have a sleeping newborn in the next room.
He used to love other dogs (always hating their owners, but at least loving the canines) and now he doesn't. It all came to a head last week when Nate had both Henry and Sammy out on their leashes and the dreaded neighbor dog named Steve walked by. Both Henry and Sammy went absolutely ballistic and Nate could not control them. It sounded and looked like our dogs were going to attack poor Steve even though the little crapheads are puny white fluffy dogs while Steve is a giant black lab. Nate came inside FUMING at Henry saying he'd had enough: it was embarrassing, unnecessary, and loud. So loud.
So immediately I got on the ever faithful Google and typed in 'Milwaukee Dog Trainers.' Lo and behold I found a company called Bark Busters and was completely intrigued. I mean besides the adorable logo...
It sounded like a perfect plan for our little problem dog:
So our initial session was on Tuesday, when both Nate and I were home to fully absorb our training---because let's get real, the training program really trains the owners, not the dog. We have to become strong pack leaders so that Henry doesn't think HE is the leader or even our equal. He has to respect us and listen to us and above all, he has to stop barking at other dogs.
This means no more sleeping in bed with us (sob! inner sob goes here!). No more lounging on the couches with us (hey, maybe we can save our dog'd up couches after all). No more having free reign over the entire house while we are away because all it does is cause him anxiety over having the 'protector' role over our home, thus the barking at dogs who pass by. No more sprinting past us through doorways.
Yep, his whole world is going to change....or it already has, even after one session.
This post is already way too long, but I'll let you know how the actual appointment went and how our 'homework' is progressing, in another part of this series. But send Henry positive 'good dog' thoughts! He's been working so hard and has definitely gotten a few more belly rubs and verbal praise along the way. It's not easy.....but worth it, we hope.
And I'll leave you with a picture of Henry as a puppy. How can we say no to this face??
Jumat, 07 April 2017
Wedding 1
Mike is Nate's cousin and he married Michelle on Saturday in Madison, WI. It was the first of three weddings for us this fall and it totally lived up to the hype. Did I mention that I love weddings? Cause I do.
Nate's little brother Jon and his girlfriend Emily came down from Duluth, Minnesota for the wedding. We always have fun with them and we clean up nicely if I do say so myself. Note the Banana Republic dress purchased from Ebay last year for a steal:
For graduation, Jon got a brand new Honda Element in orange. He is quite fond of it to say the least so I made them pose in front of the car for the blog. They loved it:)
The bride and groom during the short but sweet Catholic ceremony. We were fully expecting the hour long mass but they condensed it down to a perfect 30 minutes. Way to go, guys!
Over at the reception I snapped some pictures of the flowers because I know other girls love these details as much as me. Aren't they pretty?
Nate and Jon at dinner. I swear they are looking more and more alike over the years [but as Jon likes to point out, he still has his hair].
We are kind of starting to look alike, too.....but again, I still have my hair as well:)
The grand entrance. They are so happy!
Me and the beautiful bride. Michelle is a bundle of energy and always the life of the party. I'm so happy to have her in our family officially because now we get to share the same [hard to pronounce] last name!
Cutting the cake and showing off her pretty bustle.
Mike and Michelle attended our wedding last year, where the Browers debuted their Studio B photo booth. When they left our wedding, they said they were going to start their own photo booth business because it was such a hit. Sure enough, they started Beyond the Booth and have been doing really well with it across Wisconsin----but since they couldn't run their own booth on their wedding day, Nate and I offered to do it for them. I was a little nervous because we never had a chance to see the program before the wedding but we figured it out somehow and it was a total blast. We are up to no good, as you can see.
Here is our first test shot:
This is a mix between 'raise the roof' and 'muscle woman'---and somehow I look a little deranged.
We finally got our moment in the spotlight and had to think fast for our poses. We should have practiced before but we didn't--spontaneous poses are key:)
Again, not sure why muscles were the theme of the night.
The four of us. Nobody told me we were being serious in the first shot.
The bride and groom are too cute!
Nate decided that he needed to stretch in the middle of the reception. Marathon training really does affect all aspects of your life, I suppose.
I like when we dress up because then I can take lots of pretty pictures.
Mike and Michelle were such a fun couple all day long. I think it's safe to say they had an amazing wedding day and I hope the honeymoon to Cabo is amazing!
Sparkler send off at the end of the night.
Yay, Mike and Michelle!
It was a fabulous day and tons of fun. One wedding down, two more to go!
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