Yolande

Questions from the internet Part 1

I have fifteen questions that remain unanswered from the Six Questions experience. Nothing like a little 'ask me anything' to produce a ton fuel to the blog post fire  (aren't you lucky?). I will break these up into lots of parts because apparently I like to ramble when answering questions. Or I could just call it 'being thorough' but yeah, this got pretty lengthy. Whoops.

The first installment of these internet questions? My hair, and the concept of 'doing it all.' Love a good variety of topics in one post!

Do you still like your haircut? I know you were experimenting with different ways to style it. Favorite? Default style? -Sarah D.


Yes, I really do love it short. I'm a person that likes to be extreme with my hair so I'm used to growing it out, then cutting it off, having bangs then NOT having bangs, etc. I haven't colored my hair since my wedding in 2007 (and that was just subtle highlights) so that isn't really my 'thing' for curing my need for change. But since I went super short last August I haven't even felt the urge to do something different with it.

Actually, that isn't entirely true. As soon as I found out I was pregnant I started to considering growing it back out to a stacked bob. Not because I'm sick of it being short but because I'm scared that as I gain weight (and double my chins) I won't be able to pull this off quite as well. Also my hair grows really quickly when pregnant so it's sort of annoying to get it cut every 6 weeks when I was used to going 3 months or more before this. But I think the short style is here to stay unless I gain more than 2 chins. 2 chins = acceptable, but 3+ means I probably need to distract people with longer hair. Time will tell.

After the initial first cut, I have gotten two other short haircuts. One I loved, the last one not as much. I guess I have to learn what shape I like when it comes to the sides and the top and back. Very different than asking for 'just a trim' since my hair is already so short! I don't really wear it wavy anymore because it's too short to look right, but if I let it grow a bit I can attempt letting it air dry with some wave. I get very nervous about allowing curl with this shorter hair because my greatest fear is looking like a 1980s mom with a horrible short hair cut, a bad perm, and really weird bangs/sideburns. Do you know what I'm talking about? Bueller?

Usually, I will blow it dry in literally 3 minutes and then run the flat iron through the bangs and back in another 2 minutes. It's SO freaking easy! I do not miss my wet pony tail and headband at all. For real. I feel much more put together with a 'style' that isn't really even a style--more like a good cut that styles itself. I think my hair is 100x healthier when it's this short and I'm not sick of it yet!

(This was from the fall and I like the shape/length a lot like this! It's more flat now and I think I like it fluffier like this)



(see, this is now. Not quite the same as the above pic but it will do. And CC is super cute here.)




How do you find the time to work, clean, blog and find time to be with the kids? -smarley2
(and similarly)
How do you manage to find balance in your life with kids, a husband, work, exercising, blogging...do you sleep? How do you get it all done? -Brittany A.

Oh, sleep. I do sleep now but haven't done a ton of it in the past four years. Mostly because I have two fairly terrible sleepers who just recently figured out the glory of a full night's rest AND WE ARE LOVING IT. Because seriously, Truman's first 2+ years of his life included multiple night time wake ups and then 5 am start times to our days. Sometimes he will still call out for us at night needing a special tuck in after a bad dream. Cecelia didn't sleep through the night until 11 months and was pretty inconsistent after that until very recently. And let's get real, she will still wake every day around 4-5 am because she drops the pacifier and needs my help to find it (another story entirely, want to burn those nuks right now). Luckily she will usually whine herself back to sleep for a bit after that, but it's still semi-broken sleep for us. So yes, I do sleep from approximately 10:30-6:00 most nights. Hallelujah. It won't last much longer.

But that isn't your real question, I suppose. You want to know how I juggle all of the roles in my life. The golden question of 'balance'. Honestly, I do not want to make it seem like I have my stuff together at all times on this blog. I SO do not. I have my days/moments/weeks when I feel like a failure to all of the above mentioned tasks. Are you ready for me to keep it real here? At the risk of sounding like a whiny baby, here it is: sometimes it feels like I'm doing a lot of stuff but none of it well---like I can't give 100% of myself to anything since I'm doing so many different things. I don't think I'm alone in this and I'm willing to be a lot of women out there, and especially moms feel this way. It's hard to do it all and in reality, NOBODY can do it all, right?? The older I get (ahem, more seasoned?) the more I am willing to let go of the concept of doing it all.

I admit to being a perfectionist, Type A, first born, over-achiever and I can be pretty hard on myself at times. I feel guilty for losing my cool with the kids, for making a mistake at work, or for snapping at Nate. Luckily I realize that I'm not perfect and everyone has rough days. Those rough days make the awesome and 'mediocre' days a lot sweeter and I'm happy that the tough ones don't happen too often. Thankfully my family and friends still love me even at my worst. And thankfully I have a sense of humor, a husband who makes me lighten the heck up, friends who support me and my neuroses, and a bit of a laid back personality deep inside of me, too.

Because even though my Type A tendencies/perfectionism can be too much and therefore bad, other times those characteristics can be really helpful. I am usually good at multi-tasking (again, aren't all moms?). I don't actually mind making a phone call for work while fixing Cecelia a snack and whispering to Truman that he needs to search for Monkey on his own...and contemplating what I'm going to make for dinner. I like to be on the go and have trouble sitting still without being 'productive' in some way...even if that is just returning emails while lounging on the couch. I cannot stand to have flagged 'need to respond' emails sitting in my in box for longer than a day. It's a sickness, really. I hate to procrastinate and cannot deal with being even a few minutes late to an appointment. Again, these could all be seen as negative qualities or really helpful ones---depending on the day.

Now for a big one: I live and die by my To-Do list and thoroughly enjoy checking items off each day. This is how I accomplish blogging ideas, cleaning the house, exercising, and paperwork for my job all within the elusive 'free time' hours of the occasional dual nap and post-bedtime. I make the most of the time I have because one of my strongest qualities has always been time management. I'm a pretty organized person and like to keep tasks compartmentalized. I remember my high school teachers saying that I manage my time well on report cards or something, and I feel like this probably stemmed from high school sports. I HAD to prioritize my time after basketball and volleyball practices, games/tournaments on the weekends, camps, etc. Because I was also a perfectionist and needed a 4.0 along with extracurriculars (nerd alert). So yes, I like to take charge and get things done, which is greatly beneficial to our family and all of my pans in the fire (if you will).

But this question brings up a good point, and it's something I've been pondering for a bit now: Life is really good right now, so are we totally asking for chaos by adding to our family?

Right now, at this time in our lives with our oldest approaching four years old, and our littlest just over one-and-a-half I really do feel a sense of calm (before the storm?). It's like we are really hitting our stride with two kids, schedules, and work/life balance. On top of the ball. Owning this parenting thing (for the most part) compared to feeling like we were being owned by it all. Settled phases like this come and go and right now we are in a great phase. It won't always feel this way, obviously, which of course worries me. Will I ever feel like we are settled again with three kids, the school years, so many CHANGES ahead? Will I ever feel like I'm in control of anything--my body, our routine, my numerous children? I think if I can let my inner zen/laid back self come to the surface and push back against my tendencies to over-plan and control we will be just fine. Actually, I know we will be just fine but it's a matter of changing our definition of 'fine,' I think.

I need to grant myself some grace (inspiration from Kate's recent post) while we adjust to being a family of five and sacrifices will need to happen. Maybe I won't be able to blog as much, sleep as much, respond to emails as quickly, mask our house as 'clean', or knock out a to do list on my days at home. We will be in survival mode for a bit---just focusing on the basics (i.e. keeping everyone fed and clothed and loved) and not worrying about the 'extras'. Priorities will shift again. I feel like if I go into the newborn phase with somewhat low expectations for myself then I will be less frustrated by the changes that will surely occur. I mean, we've done this before---twice before. Which means we should know what we're doing but having three is going to be a different ballgame. This I know.

Because honestly, I am beyond grateful for this gift of pregnancy and welcoming another child into our lives. It's going to be so much fun. Hard as heck, expensive, chaotic, and different for sure. Transitioning to being a mother of three will be quite the ride and part of the beauty is that I can't predict how our story will go. Maybe we will get an awesome sleeper this time (hahahahahaha)! Maybe we will get the neediest of all babies and Nate really will get a vasectomy before we come home from the hospital. I'm excited for this change, I'm ready (well not YET, but in a few more months!), and I can't wait to share all about it. Whenever I make the time to blog, that is, and I'm not making any promises. ;) Back to the basics (ie iPhone pictures without captions, one post per week at best). Hopefully someday life will settle down again, there will be a teensy bit of free time again, and we will be in another 'great phase.'

But for now, we are soaking these two stinkers in as much as possible. Such fun stages! Yep, had to use this post as an excuse to show some cute T and C pics;)







Up next? Lots of specific questions about blogging, so I will be blogging about blogging. Stay tuned!