Yolande

I have written a couple of posts lately dealing with the same theme: Parental Pinch Gets Tighter, Forget "Free Range" and the Vaccine Debate and Discover the True Problem, and The Sad End to The Cat in the Hat (or The War on Parents) and I am starting to feel like I am beating a dead horse. However, a thought occurred to me the other day and I decided I really wanted to share it. The thought is that there are lessons to be taken from the home birth movement that can be applied to the current war on parenting, specifically as it relates to the "Free Range" parenting style.

Regardless of how you feel about the home birth movement, whether you are a full supporter, on the fence, or it makes you uncomfortable, the fact of the matter is the push for women to have freedom of choice in birth rests largely on the fact that the majority of low-risk births are safe and uncomplicated. The thought is, the risk is worth the reward. (If you are interested in reading about home birth some good links to some of the many, many articles on the topic can be found here, here and here as well as this interesting Master's Thesis.) The same can be applied to parenting. The risks are worth the reward.

We spend so much time saying things like, "but even one, is one too many," or the politicians' favorite, "but, as long as it prevents even one fatality then [insert whatever legal precedent you want to use to enact new restrictions] is totally justified and worth it." Here in America we are positively obsessed with reaching a zero percent mortality rate.

Guess what?

It isn't possible. We could require children to submit to 24/7 surveillance and we will still have children who die. We will still have children who are kidnapped, molested, injured. The old saying goes, where there is a will, there is a way. We can force vaccinations on everyone and there will be some that die from the vaccinations. We can throw up our hands and stop vaccinating all together, and someone will die of a "preventable" disease. We can strap every child in to a giant bubble wrap car seat, but the fact of the matter is that not every child will survive to see adulthood. We can legislate ourselves into a coma, and it still isn't ever going to happen. Reaching a zero percent mortality rate is completely unobtainable. Children are going to die, and the families will need our support, not our judgment and finger pointing. It sounds harsh, I know, but it is reality.

The Husband, reading over my shoulder just now, pointed out that this argument is much like the argument Sheldon and Leonard have on The Big Bang Theory about Leonard's surgery. Sheldon says he should not have it because he has a 1/700,000 chance of dying from general anesthesia. Leonard then says, all the more reason to have it because he has 699,999/ 700,000 chance of being fine. Sheldon then crunches the numbers which ultimately brings Leonard's chance of dying "down to a sphincter tightening 1:300."



And that is it. Can something happen to your kids if you leave your kids unattended while you run to the post office, or the bank, or the store? Yes. Can something happen if you let them walk to the park alone? Yes. Can something happen if you choose to vaccinate, or don't choose to vaccinate? Yes and yes. If we used the same number crunching gymnastics that Sheldon used, we would all be paralyzed with fear that death is lurking around every corner. But, things like that are rare, which is why they call it a freak accident. Of course, if something does happen our first instinct is to point a finger and demand to know, "where were the parents?"

Ultimately, chances are pretty darn good that they will be just fine. If you trust your kids to stay home alone for short periods of time, chances are you are right. If you feel safe enough in your neighborhood to let them walk to the park alone, you are probably right. You know your kids better than anyone, and chances are nothing bad will happen. Every choice you make for your kids carry risks and much like the cop who has to make a split second decision, you have to understand that if something does go wrong.... you will be publicly crucified. We will blame the victim, point our fingers, wring our hands, start a non-profit and demand "justice."

All that reaction really does, though, is assure that we are making parents more and more afraid. They are afraid that if they aren't watching 24/7 they won't be able to defend themselves if something happens. And something will eventually happen, to someone anyway. No one wants to be the 1 in 700,000, but it happens. Life doesn't come with guarantees.

Therefore, I say we take a page out of the home birth movement's book. Yes bad things will happen. Yes they may or may not be "preventable," but ultimately we need to make sure that parents have the right to make those calls, to take those risks, to utilize those options without fear of ridicule or legal and criminal ramifications.

Ask yourselves, do we want to bend over backwards, tying ourselves in knots trying to live in fear of the being the 1? Or do we want to make decisions based on the 699,999? I think the home birth movement has it right. Parents should educate themselves to the all the risks and choose for themselves. They should be able to make those choices without fear of legal prosecution or having their lives placed under the public microscope if they make the wrong choice. I am pretty sure losing a child is punishment enough.

Before I can put it all into words (still trying to gather my thoughts on this amazing experience)...let's view the birth story in pictures:



hello contractions...


This is why I'm hot:


again with the contractions...bottom line shows them:


Oh, Pitocin. Why are you so awful/amazing. More to come:


And then, he was born! Just like that. HA HA HA. Stay tuned.


My little egg head:) Scoring high on the Apgars with an 8 then a 9. He knows how to make his PT parents very happy.


My OB is rather happy to have him out, too:) She canceled office visits to run up to the hospital and deliver me when she wasn't even the one on call. Did I mention that I love her?



First picture of Daddy and Truman:


Mommy and Truman. Cannot believe I'm posting this on the internet. As Nate says, 'I've never seen you looking THIS tired.' I know, it's warranted and all, but hello bags under eyes!


Our first family picture. A sweaty mess...


The next morning, with my parents. Proud grandparents #1!


And Nate with his Mom, proud grandparent #2. Don't worry, Grandpa made it to visit multiple times, too, but had to work so they missed their whole family shot this date. Boo!


First time we saw his eyes really open up and little expressions like this:




Sigh. I could go on with more but you get the idea. It was amazing, awful, and the best day of my entire life the day my son was born. So surreal that I still feel like I'm dreaming when I look into his eyes. I can't believe he is all ours and we get to keep him!

Off to stare some more...

Oh, hey! Just coming up for air over here and I feel the need to report on some major home renovations that have taken place in the 3 weeks we've owned our house. I feel like we are machines with all of this DIY-madness and yet our pesky 'real jobs' are seriously affecting our ability to get things done as quickly as we'd like. There are only so many hours in the day, right?

Remember that there are the Big Three projects we want to complete prior to moving into the house: 1. The floors, 2. The kitchen, and 3. Painting. This tiny little list is a little deceiving because simple words like 'do the kitchen' actually means spending hundreds of hours on various projects within the four kitchen walls. A little word like 'paint' doesn't really capture the fact that we are painting every wall in the house, the ceilings of some rooms, the crown molding, wood trim, etc etc etc. I am about painted out, my friends, but we aren't quite finished yet.

And so, 'part one' of our renovations shall be documented here. Because one of out of our three big projects is complete!! The floors are done, holla!! And so a big chunk of our budget is also gone:)

1. The Floors.

Well, if you do remember, our entire house was carpeted with blue wool carpeting including the stairs and every bedoom on the second floor (well, technically the bedrooms and hallways up there weren't blue but whatever.) The kitchen contained some awesome 70's linoleum that was a lovely creamy/gray color. And yet we knew our entire house MUST have original hardwood flooring hiding underneath the carpet and linoleum. So on the second night of owning our house, after Truman went to bed, I went over there with Nate and my father-in-law while Lois listened to Truman's baby monitor at home. And the boys went.to.town on that carpeting.

They pulled every single strip of it up on their own in two nights. Then they had to remove all of the little boards with eleventy billion nails and staples across all of our floors. They only cussed a few times and I think the worst of it was on the stairs, where there were seriously about a million staples just hanging out on our wood. Then they had to gather up all of the nasty carpet pieces, the deathly splintered wood strips, and the numerous nails/staples and they hauled it off to the dump in a friend's big truck. I think it took about 3 loads to get rid of it all and I actually did help gather some of it up because I could tell that this project was getting VERY old to the men:) I don't think any of us were too terribly sad to say goodbye to that wool carpeting and I know Nate's allergies were really giving him hell after all of that work. But the good news is: by having the boys do all of this prep work for our floors, we saved about $600 bucks! The hardwood flooring company that came in later said the guys did a great job and it was a total money saver on our end and so I declare it was worth it. :) They did not touch the linoleum in the kitchen, though, since it was 3 layers deep and full of black tar that I was worried contained asbestos. We gladly paid an extra $150 to have the pros remove that junk.

(the uncovered hardwood discovered! And the kitchen linoleum, too)



So next step was getting the professional company to come and give us an estimate. Because our floors were 'protected' by the carpet for the past 40 years they were in really, really good shape. But man, that varnish was pretty freaking ugly and we knew the floors needed a good sanding, then a stain, and then a finish. The company we chose was super fast with their work and it only took them two days to sand the entire place, one day to stain, and then two days to apply the finish. Amazing. If we had attempted this task on our own I think we'd still be sanding our life away.

(after day one of sanding...wow!)


After they did the sanding we could immediately see the lovely potential in our wood floors---which have very narrow planks at just 1.5 inches, compared to the typical 2.25 inches you see. The entire house has red oak wood except for the kitchen, where it's maple instead. I was beyond stressed when I had to pick out the stain all by myself on a day Nate was working. They showed me these three options and I was sweating bullets about this decision. Although Truman was present during the turmoil he was mostly focused on his Elmo DVD and didn't exactly help me out too much.

(nutmeg, golden oak, or natural finish without stain. I picked the middle 'golden oak' after much debate between that and the nutmeg. I really did love the darker stain but was worried it was a bit ashy. Plus the hardwood dudes thought the golden oak would look best and swore it would turn out darker when applied to the entire floors, along with the top coat finish. Seriously such a big decision!)


We knew we'd want the oak in the majority of the house to be stained, but the maple in the kitchen should always remain natural, apparently. After being really worried that the kitchen would have a lot of damage to the original wood, considering the layers of linoleum and years of being totally hidden--there was only one small repair that was needed in there. The rest of the wood was in 'excellent shape.' The repair required the company cutting down 'standard' size planks to our narrow width, sanding, and finishing it off. I am so glad we had them repair that patch for us. Again, money well spent, in my opinion.

(before--in the kitchen, after sanding, discovering the missing patch of wood.)



(after--note the new replaced wood on the bottom right corner of this pic. Fully refinished without stain in the kitchen!)

We chose to 'upgrade' our finish to the top of the line, strongest/hardest brand out there. It only needed two coats and it should last us a VERY long time. I have to say that I am obsessed with our hardwood floors now and it was money well spent (although it did cost a pretty penny). And what a blessing that the floors were in such great shape under the carpet and that even the kitchen turned out so wonderfully. We were worried the kitchen might be in rough shape and we'd have to tile it or lay down engineered wood instead. But nope, all original stuff, baby. (Besides that little patch in the kitchen)

Final reveal photos!!

(Main room before we moved in...)


(After removing the carpet...)


(After sanding...)


(Ta Da!! Stained and Refinished)












I just realized I haven't taken any pictures of the upstairs bedrooms with the refinished floors. I promise that we also did the entire second floor, too. You will see more pictures of the upstairs in my future 'painting posts', though, don't worry.

And so, project #1 out of 3 is done. And of course, this is the only one that was done mostly by the professionals. The kitchen and the painting is pretty much all us. Stay tuned for updates on those babies!

In the following paragraphs all of us may aid you in preparing find a effective useful resource based on analysis regarding existing posts Potty training by the signs prospects for discourse mainly because numerous consumers which means that, what person try to get the solution. on blueprint Gathering up you implement many different search engine listings here are some shots that will be about Potty training by the signs .

Pictured earlier you'll be able to acquire along with preserve the item into your computer system disk drive in order that if you want it can be directly accessed easily. Potty training by the signs is the key for you which wants to connected subject areas. So you went on that labor to get the details pertaining to the advantages of each of our guests. Lesemarke some of our web-site the fact that will allow you to discover additional content connected to all the phrases

Potty training by the signs - that will help cultivate the interest of your prospects can also be pretty pleased for making this site. improving upon human eye your content could people try on a later date so that you can really understand once discovering this place. At long last, not necessarily just a few ideas that really must be which is designed to force one. yet as a result of limits regarding terminology, we could simply current the particular Potty training by the signs conversation way up below